“Florida Woman loses wrestling match to Nightmare Angel!”

Chelsea would come up short in the Olla Rumble but as per usual the young wrestler/musician wasn’t to be deterred as she was in action this week on Victory taking on Sapphire Delgado in singles action! The self-proclaimed “Florida Bitch” had competed in the Olla Rumble but she was the first one eliminated being thrown out within seconds of entering the match, can Chelsea get the win or will Sapphire bounce back from the loss?

Ring Rust Café, Las Vegas Nevada
Wednesday the 16th of February 2022, 18:00pm

Sometimes we just need to relax.

And well, that’s what I’m doing with my bandmates, we’re in between playing shows to support Krawling Khaos’s second album Church of the Red Harvest and since we had some money left over from the shows we’ve already played in support of the new album we decided to go to the newly opened Ring Rust Café in Las Vegas, a wrestling themed café that every other wrestler on Twitter was contributing dishes too.

As for me? I didn’t come up with the dish until well after it was open and it ended up being a chicken dish named in honour of Krawling Khaos, and yes, I did use the correct spelling of Chicken in the name and no, it didn’t stop it from being brought up.

Curse the KKK for tainting those three letters by being dickheads!

With that out of the way, I do have a busy week ahead of me next week, I’m taking on the “Florida Bitch” Sapphire Delgado in PWE, defending the International Championship for the first time in Rev1, in singles action in Level Up and FCW, yeah never a dull moment for me!

Almost makes you wonder how I make time for this band!

“Gotta say Chelsea, everything on this menu sounds delicious.” Julian commented as he went over the menu with his boyfriend Trent sitting next to him, meanwhile the three female members (me, Sarah and Taylor) were sitting next to each other. “I can’t decide on what to eat.”

”I was here for the opening last Friday, hell I was the one who cut the ribbon, I can give you some ideas if you want.” I offered them as I went through the menu. ”Then again the menu is a bit different because of all the dishes that have been added since I was last here.”

”Or taken off in the case of that one chicken wing dish.” Sarah chimed in as she looked over the menu. ”Did they ever find out what was added to that hot sauce that made everyone sick?”

”If they have I haven’t heard anything about it, when I described the after effects to Chloe she listed off a bunch of extremely hot chillies that she thought were the culprit.” I explained with a shrug and my bandmates nodded as they got the idea. ”I was one of the lucky ones, I ordered a different starter.”

“Always takes one prick to ruin the fun of everyone.” Trent sighed before he set the menu down. “I’ve decided what I’m having anyway, Rock and Roll Mac and Cheese for starter, Down Under Thunder Burger for main and the Loaded Brownies for dessert.”

”I’m going for the same thing, just swap out the burger for the Roulette Steak Experience.” Sarah decided and Taylor nodded to indicate that she was ordering the same thing. ”What are you ordering babe?”

”Guess it’s falling to me to be the odd person out, I’m getting the French Toast for dessert, steak experience for the main and no starters.” I decided once I set the menu down and we all turned our attention to Julian. ”That just leaves you Julian.”

“Call me boring but I’m going with what Trent’s ordering.” Julian commented before the gay couple shared a fist bump. “Not often that I get to have stuff like lobsters.”

”Let’s hope that they have enough of the ingredients for those dishes for all of us!” I nodded in agreement before a waitress came over wearing a ref’s shirt which we had already identified as the waiter’s uniforms and took our orders.

Chelsea and Sarah’s home studio, Chicago Illinois
Friday the 18th of February 2022, 14:00pm

*promo time*

Here we go.

”You know, I wish I could’ve lasted longer in the Olla Rumble, at the very least make it to the top four, but I at least made it further in the match than my opponent this week! Then again that wasn’t all that difficult considering that “The Florida Bitch” Sapphire Delgado was the first one out of the match! And whilst I know that she gave herself that nickname because she’s a bitch from Florida, well there’s a certain thing that comes to mind when it comes to Florida!”

Go ahead and guess.

”That’s right, Florida Man! Or woman in this case! And here’s a start for you Sapphire, Florida Woman names herself after state in wrestling career, expects to be taken seriously! I mean come on, that’s like me calling myself the Illinois Metalhead Chelsea Skye, it’s accurate but it’s generic as fuck! And trust me Sapphire I’m only just getting started with making up these “Florida Woman” stories about you!”

I could go all day!

”And in our next story: Florida Woman enters Olla Rumble, is first one eliminated! Granted I wasn’t in the match at that point but I was watching the action from the back and I was wondering “what the hell just happened”, either way it wasn’t a good look for you Sapphire and you won’t look much better once I’m done with you at Victory! And that also brings me to my next Florida Woman story!”

Yes I am taking this concept and running with it!

”Hey if you are getting sick of these “Florida Woman” jokes look on the bright side Sapphire, at least you’re not the Florida Woman who bit a man’s lure whilst he was fishing and swam away or as degrading as the Florida Woman who danced naked in the Waffle House Parking Lot after licking a guy and dropping her pants or even worse: the Florida Woman who took meth, drove a motorised scooter around Walmart whilst eating sushi and cinnamon rolls! And yes, those are all real Florida woman stories, I googled it! Speaking of “Florida Woman humiliated by opponent who googled news stories about her home state”, yeah that last one was made up by me, isn’t it obvious?”

It's that simple.

”Here’s another thing that’s obvious, Florida woman gets wrecked in wrestling match by metalhead and yes, I’m talking about you and me! Sapphire you might be the “Florida Bitch” but that won’t do you much good against me and after I beat you on Victory I will move on to bigger and better things! And hopefully avoid wrestling anyone else from Florida because at this rate I might be banned from wrestling in the state of Florida!”

And with that I decided to wrap things up.

”But I do have one more “Florida Woman” story for you Sapphire and before I get to that, I have one last thing to get off my chest and sorry boys, it’s not my top! 2021 wasn’t a great start in PWE for me but 2022 will be a massive improvement and that starts with the following Florida Woman headline: “Florida Woman loses Wrestling Match to Nightmare Angel Chelsea Skye who proves that once that bell rings, the Skyes the Limit!”, okay maybe that headline was a little long but it gets the message across, doesn’t it?”

I started listening to the new Immolation album as the scene fades.